There's nothing sweeter than a child's laughter...

*I have a friend who showed up to the course just hammered while another friend and I were in the middle of a round. Drunk friend proceeded to bet non-drunk friend a few bucks that he could beat him on the hole we were on if he were given a shot. After hacking it up the hole, drunk friend ends up with a chip shot for bogey. Well, in the middle of his backswing, two kids on a hill on the hole adjacent to us yelled at him. Not cool. Drunk friend starts screaming obscenities back at them, flings his club, hops in his golf cart, two wheels it across the bridge to the other hole and drives up the steep hill after the kids. Which, ironically enough, leads to a cemetery. My friend and I watched as drunk friend, cart and rude kids took off through the cemetery, probably running over a bunch of headstones in the process. The two of us back in the fairway were just in shock and rolling on the ground laughing. - J. Wantabe *

I don't think that's what they mean by "throwing" your club towards the hole

One of the funniest meltdowns I've seen was a buddy who took each club out of the bag one by one and proceeded to helicopter them up the fairway. When he was done throwing all 14 clubs, he threw the golf bag. - David Lutz

Best contact he made all day

Working as a Marshal at Evergreen Golf in Manheim, Pa., I saw a guy pull his cart up onto the 10th tee almost hitting a guy teeing off, get out and punch him square in the mouth. The reason, the guy had almost hit him on the previous hole. - Mike Boucher

This is just sad

I used to be a cart boy in Naples at a course where a lot of couples/honeymooners would play. One summer night, I saw a man and girl on the 18th and the guy crying and begging to the girl, at one point going to his knees. Because it was on 18 it caught people's attention. It finally ended with the girl walking off the course. The guy told us afterwards that she had dumped him. He still managed to two-putt on 18 though! - P. Bradley

Karma

A friend taunted a goose on a green, walking at it while flapping his arms. Goose melted down and dove-bombed us for next 5 min. - @intrepidgolfer

I'm sure he can write that off

*I used to be an assistant club pro. We had a member who was famous for throwing his clubs, and one time, we tossed all of his clubs on a hole and walked off. We had plenty of kids working at the course, so we raffled his (brand new) Callaway irons off, and gave his wedges and woods to others. *

*A week later, the member comes into the pro shop asking where his clubs are at. I tell him that we had no idea what he was talking about. This jerk ended up going out to the putting green and took one of the flags and smacked it against our practice sign. He was shortly suspended the rest of the summer. - Carly *

Aw, the classic foot wedge

At Pebble Beach in 2005 for a father-son trip, one of the dads in front of us was getting mad at his round and was continually pounding his clubs on the ground in anger. I think it was on the 10th that he slammed his club again, but this time the shaft broke and went through his shoe. He had to go to the hospital. - Pete Aaron

That's why you're supposed to keep your eye on the ball

My friend Earl has a temper. One time he launched his ball at our golf car, and it bounced back and hit him in the eye, giving him a black eye. He didn't stop cursing until the next hole. - Rachel T.

Did he keep the tips?

For my bachelor party in Jacksonville, we decided to play 18 holes on Saturday morning. One of my friends had a $100 bet and was getting demolished. On the eighth hole he put one in the woods. The cart girl happened to be on that hole watching. My friend got so mad that he hopped in her cart and took off. Best part was we could see him stopping on the next hole to serve the group in front of us. - Ramon Jimenez

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Aquaman

*A guy I played with years ago lost a match on 18 by hitting his approach into the lake next to the green at the old Plaza Park in Visalia, Calif. He picked up his bag and ran like a screaming lunatic to the pond and chucked into the water. In almost the same motion he dove in and grabbed it before it sank. Later we were laughing about it when he told us, the instant the bag left his hands he realized his wallet with his paycheck was in it. He said he didn't care about the clubs, but his wife would kill him over losing the check. - Bill Essex *

At least there's a clock on your phone

*Got to be Chris (redacted) ... I played with him in a club competition a few years ago. He hit a bad shot, not sure what, but he then turned round and started to take it out on his bag. He then stopped very suddenly as panic set in. He had just got himself a fancy new watch ... a couple of grands worth ooops as it was in his bag. Lucky for Chris he struck his bag as bad as he did his ball and missed his fancy watch. - Dougie Manson *

Afraid to comment...

Two guys pulled out guns and pointed them at each other. No shots though! - Tom Meder

Would have loved to hear that conversation with the insurance agent

We used to play stymies on the putting green after 36 holes on Saturdays. It was late so we had turned on our car headlights surrounding the putting green. Well someone got stymied, got angry and threw his putter in the air . . . And the putter smashed through the guys own windshield. - Dan Gould

Hulk - smash

My friend hits what appears to be a really good shot...until it lands in the bunker. At that point he pulls out his driver and snaps the shaft over his knee. Then he does the same with his 3- wood, then his 5-wood, then...he just kept going and snapped every single shaft in his bag, including his putter, all while there was a group waiting on the tee behind us. I'm pretty sure the fact I was laughing hysterically to the point of tears only made him that much angrier and is what took the final tally up to all 14 clubs being unplayable, and a slight bruise above his right knee. - Marc Hanson

Feels like the Secret Service dropped the ball

*One beautiful summer day in August of 1995 we were involved in a nip and tuck title match at Farm Neck Golf Club on Martha's Vineyard. As fate would have it, our father, my brother, his now ex-wife and I were the group immediately in front of President Clinton and so the woods were full of Secret Service agents with machine guns. *

*While we were waiting on the eighth tee, a beautiful, reachable par 5 with OB left, a pond on the right and ocean views, the President's group caught up to us. After exchanging some pleasantries the President examined my brother's driver. They both played a Wilson with a firestick shaft. *

*Then we teed off. I hit a beautiful shot down the middle. My brother did not, though his ball was dry. He was forced to lay up while I waited in the fairway for the green to clear. *

*My brother made it very clear to me that he did not think I should be standing in the fairway waiting to hit a par 5 in two while the leader of the free world was on the tee behind us. As we not so calmly talked that over, the green cleared so I could play away. I didn't hit the green but was close enough that I could do no worse than par. *

*My brother managed to knock it on in three and hit his first putt about two feet by the cup. I made sure he knew his putt was not good. That did not make him happy. *

*As I expected, he missed. *

*He then tapped in for 6, took the ball out of the hole and proceeded to wind up and throw it at me as hard as he could. I was no more than five feet away. And President Clinton was standing in the middle of the fairway. His Secret Service was all around. *

*My reaction was to charge at my taller, stronger brother. To this day I'm not sure what I was going to accomplish. *

I managed to tie him up and our father stepped right in to break things up. All he had to say was that the President was behind us and the machine guns were in the woods. - Tim Levy

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